


I Got A Heart

by ohpleaselarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Cheating Harry, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Smut, and based on some personal shit, im sorry, just read it, so don't judge pls, this is an emotional fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:08:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohpleaselarry/pseuds/ohpleaselarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You were just here so late and leaving so early. I thought maybe you were cheating on me." He smiles like the idea is just so silly to think about, and Harry forces a chuckle. The now faded hickey burns a hole in his chest, and he hopes the guilty sweat on his face isn't too noticeable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Got A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> this was written on a whim, and it is unedited and i haven't even went through it a second time.

 

\--

 

Work is hard. It's such a negative thing to say but when Harry started in law he loved it. He was just 17, then, when he'd started uni in law. Louis was an hour away in a drama focused school working on being big, and they were both just kids with dreams. Only Harry's came true, though. 

Louis had worked so hard, he remembers. The boy had auditioned so many times, only to get a few commercials but no big break. After four years of college and many many no's, Louis had given up and instead got into the music industry, starting as an intern and working up to owning his own company, managing some of the largest artists out there. Him doing that and Harry in law left little time for just them time, but they always managed. 

Being together since high school, they've been together for seven years, and married for five. Being so busy with work, they hadn't approached the idea of kids yet, though it was on both of their minds everyday. 

Lately, though, they have such little time that they only see each other in the mornings when they are both leaving, as Harry's been working on a big case and not getting home until after Louis is sleeping.

They live for Sunday's, when they both have the day off and can relax and enjoy each other, finally. And it's alright. It's hard but they have each other and it's just fine. 

Then Louis' company flops overnight. 

 

 

Harry's working on his case when he gets the third call in five minutes on his work phone. He sighs and picks it up. 

"Harry Tomlinson-Styles." He says when he answers, expecting another law firm or a client or another case. 

"Hey." Louis' voice is so quiet like it is when he's incredibly upset. The phone beeps, signaling a call from another line. 

"Hey, Lou. Can you hold a moment?" He asks, and it gets quiet. 

"I'll just--never-mind." Harry gets the dial tone, and he raises an eyebrow but leaves it, continuing on with work. 

He forgets about it until he gets home late and Louis' waiting up for him.

"Hey, why're you up? It's midnight." He says, and Louis is just staring hard at Harry's briefcase, eyes glossy like he cried today. Harry remembers the call and even though he kinda just wants to sleep, he sets down his briefcase and sits down next to his husband, who sniffles quietly and leans into him. 

"The company's done for. The first one I signed, Ember, told everyone I had thrown a contract on him and forced him to do stuff. By noon everyone had moved company's. _everyone_. The company's done for and now I'm broke." He says, and Harry hugs him tightly. 

"Isn't there a contract or something that stops them from just leaving?" He asks, and Louis shakes his head. 

"Don't you remember? When I sign them there's nothing in the contract that stops them from leaving. I wanted to give them all that feeling of freedom." Harry can think of quite a few ways to get law involved and get ember away and Louis' clients back, but he figures now they can spend more time together, and can fire the nanny who takes care of their cat, Whiskers, while they are away because Louis can do it now. 

"And I really needed you today, H," Louis' saying, and Harry focuses back on him, "I called your work phone cause you always have your phone off during work and when I finally got to you I was just blown off. I get that your work is important but is it more important than your husband?" 

Harry's quiet. 

"I--" he's about to talk, but Louis abruptly stands up. 

"Never mind, I'm just still upset. I think I'm going to sleep now." That night is one of the first nights they fall asleep together, though Louis is moody and doesn't want to cuddle. Harry stares up at the ceiling, stomach churning, as he realises he didn't have an answer to Louis' question anyways. 

 

 

"Is it bad to um, fall out of love?" 

The other line is deathly quiet, then,

"Shit, Harry, you aren't questioning how you feel about him right?" Taylor asks, and Harry bites his lip and bounces on his toes. 

"I don't--it's complicated. we hardly spend time together anymore and I keep having these horrible thoughts that I didn't even realise I was having until now. Like, just yesterday Louis lost his job and my only thought was that now I don't have to worry about the house getting dirty while I'm at work." 

There's a pause. Harry's eyes dart around his office like he's scared louis will just pop out and catch his words. 

"That's kind of terrible, Harry," Taylor says, and Harry pinches himself guiltily, "you need to take a step back and rethink your feelings. You guys have been together for as long as I've known you. You know him and you know you. Try to talk to him about how he feels, alright?" 

Harry is practically chewing his lip off, flinching every time there's a noise. His work phone is lit up with voicemails.

"Thanks Taylor. I've got work to do but we should hang sometime." She laughs and agrees and when they hang up, Harry feels like he may puke. He's always figured Louis was the one, but could he be wrong?

 

 

Harry is sober. It's Sunday and he's off work and he lied to Louis and told him he has a business meeting that will last most of the day. 

Harry figures that the only way to find out how he feels about Louis is to see how he feels about anyone just out in the world. If you're attracted to other people you might not be into them, right?

Somehow he finds himself dancing with some girl who's wearing sneakers with her dress. Harry's always loved girls in that, so he figures she will do. 

He must be a bit less sober than he though, because next thing he knows he's being kissed feverishly and shoved into the backseat of his car. 

The girl unbuttons his pants and sucks a lovebite under Harry's nipple, kissing down his body as she does.  

He lies back as she takes him into her mouth, then realises with a jolt that he kind of just wants to go home and watch movies with Louis and kiss him and love him and--shit. 

"No, no, no, shit. I'm married and I love him." Harry says, voice getting higher and higher pitched as more panic fills him. The girl pulls away and Harry buttons up his jeans. She raises an eyebrow. 

"You better tell him or it will haunt you forever." She says, then leaves the car. Harry frantically pulls his wedding band out of his pocket and slides it back on, crying into the seat as he realises what he's just done. 

  
_He just cheated_.

 

 

Harry can't talk to Louis for three days, ignoring his texts during work and leaving early each morning and coming home quite later than needed, usually finding Louis sleeping on the couch from trying to wait up for him. Harry's heart is in a constant ache. He's overcome with the worst guilt and it's not until Jay calls him to tell him to get whatever his shit is together and stop ignoring Louis that he actually leaves work on the normal late time instead of doing extra work. His heart is beating so quick in his chest as he enters their house that he actually fears he may have a heart attack. He sets down his briefcase and breathes deep for a few long minutes, before taking off his shoes and padding down the hall to the living room where, surly enough, Louis is barely awake, blinking tiredly at the telly and snuggled in a blanket. The lines under his eyes are quite dark and all Harry wants to do is kiss him and love him like they haven't in a long time, desperate to throw away his sin to the back of his mind.

Louis finally notices him and perks up, eyes painfully filled with love that Harry has to look away. 

"You're home," Louis says, voice hoarse, "you've been avoiding me." 

Harry swallows down his guilt and forces a smile, stepping closer and sitting down next to him. 

"I haven't. I've been so swamped with work. I'm sorry, Lou. That big case is over now, so I'll be home at nine now instead of midnight or later." He lies right through his teeth, and keeps a neutral sorry face while Louis searches his eyes like he's trying to search for a lie. 

"You were just here so late and leaving so early. I thought maybe you were cheating on me." He smiles like the idea is just so silly to think about, and Harry forces a chuckle. The now faded hickey burns a hole in his chest, and he hopes the guilty sweat on his face isn't too noticeable. 

"Cheat? That's silly. I've got you." Louis smiles and Harry can't just sit around and talk like this or he will burst. Instead, he leans forward and kisses him for the first time in, like, a week, he realises. 

Louis hums happily and kisses back. Harry leans forward until Louis falls backwards on the couch. The boy smiles all happy while Harry crawls up his body and nips at his collarbones. 

"I've missed this." Louis murmurs as Harry kisses his jaw and his hands fumble with the drawstring on Louis' sweats. 

He hides his face as they fuck, not wanting Louis to catch the tears glossing over his eyes. 

 

 

He calls in for a day off the next day, and Louis is quite pleased, grinning all crinkly eyed at Harry when he catches the end of his call as he comes into the den that morning, but it slowly drops when he catches the terrified look on Harry's face. 

"You didn't take off for a funeral, right?" He automatically assumes the worst, and Harry shakes his head, and can already feel the dread filling his chest. Louis looks concerned while Harry comes to him and kisses him as if it is the last time, which it just might be. 

Harry moves back in case Louis wants to slap him. 

"I cheated." It bursts out of him, and the world seems to freeze, and Louis stares at him for a few long moments, like he's waiting for a punchline, and his face gets steadily more red as the seconds go by, before his hands come up and press to his heart like it is physically breaking. Harry is going to cry, he knows. 

"I-I was just joking about that...I never actually thought you-" his voice cracks, and he looks so terribly heartbroken, and he covers his face with his hands, looking so small. When Louis is upset or angry, he gets really quiet and reserved, while Harry gets loud and curses like a sailor. 

Harry wraps his arms around his waist and scratches himself until he's sure he's bleeding, so overcome with guilt that it's sure to kill him.

"I started to question my feelings for you, and I took you for granted, and I'm so sorry. I will do anything to keep you in my life, Louis, please--" now he's crying, voice choking up, and Louis wipes furiously at his wet eyes and blinks up at the ceiling. 

"I think what hurts the most is that while you were f-fucking someone else I was looking up adoption agencies," Harry's heart hammers in his chest and he scratches himself harder, "I don't know if I'm more angry with you for cheating, or more angry at myself for not being good enough for you." He turns away and sobs, and Harry just wants to hold him tightly, but he knows that touching the boy isn't a very good idea right now. 

"No, no. You're more than enough, Lou, I don't know what I was thinking. We were just spending such little time together and I forgot who I was. I love you so much-"

Louis turns back around and wipes his eyes clean, and doesn't look into Harry's eyes. 

"I need you to sleep on the couch tonight. Actually, the floor. Actually, I want you to leave. Go stay in whoever the fuck it was' house for all I care." Harry sniffles and nods, stepping forward and cautiously, knowing that Louis could snap at any second. The boys' eyes are downcast, and Harry's reminded of the day they married, Louis' eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks as he blushed during Harry's vows. 

Harry gently cradles Louis' cheek with his hand, and leans down, kissing his forehead. 

"I love you." He whispers through his tears, and leaves with another intense look at the only one he truly loves. 

He doesn't see him again for two years. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Harry Styles, the best decision you made was leaving law and getting into music, what made you make such a risky decision anyways?" The interviewer asks, and Harry's smile drops the smallest bit as he remembers the faded memory of pretty blue eyes, but it quickly leaves his mind and he maintains his smile. 

"Being in law was such a low time in my life. I'd always loved singing and it just came naturally, I suppose." It's a bit vague, but she accepts it. 

"You've been in this business for two years and have the hearts of millions, is there anyone special you've met?" Harry remembers pointy smiles and giggling through midnight snacks half naked in the kitchen. 

"Just haven't found the right person, yet." He says, and she smiles fake fake fake and Harry hates single interviews, cause he can't hide behind Liam and Niall's laughs as well. 

 

 

"You get hotter every time I see you, babe. What happened to that tiny uni baby I once knew?" Taylor asks, and Harry smiles, rolling his eyes. 

"Don't let Lea hear you say that, she may get jealous." Harry says, speaking of Taylor's girlfriend. Taylor laughs and they join arms at the elbows, making their way through the streets of London. Even with Harry's touring, he manages to come home and hang with Taylor every now and then. She's really the only one outside of his family that he can trust not to tell all of his secrets to the press, except for that time she leaked a picture of him from uni wearing woman's knickers on April fools. Harry had feigned begin angry, but hardly cared. 

It's late at night, so there's less of a chance for Harry to get mobbed, though he's been stopped for pictures a few times, but he doesn't mind that.

They go into a club, planning on dancing but no drinking, as Harry has to fly back to America in the morning for the American leg of the tour, the last leg, and they lose each other quickly, Harry sitting at the bar drinking, and Taylor dancing crazily with the throng of people. He's smiling fondly and surveying the room, when his heart stops. 

Louis is here. 

He's sat at a booth, sitting on a very muscular man's lap and surrounded by a bunch more, laughing as he animatedly tells the men something, who all seem to be very interested, all watching Louis with great awe. 

Harry stares, heart thundering against his ribs, all of the suppressed feelings he's pushed back to get over him come rushing back, and he aches with want. 

Louis says something and all of the men erupt in laughter. The boy wears a sweet pleased smile, and he raises his glass to his lips and drinks while the men around him calm down.

A few of them start their own conversation and the man who's lap Louis is sitting on kisses at his neck, and says something into his ear, and to an outsider it may look like they are loving boyfriends, but Harry can see that whatever the guy says is biting, and it shows in the furrow of Louis' eyebrows and the slight hurt twitch down of his lips. Harry's filled with anger as he looks further down and finds the guy's hand a little too tight on Louis' thigh. Like, tight to bruise. While he's looking, harry realises that Louis has gotten a lot skinnier, like, a little too skinny. 

Harry's just wondering how to go about the situation, when Louis' eyes flicker up and he meets Harry's eyes across the room. 

Harry feels heat sizzling under his skin as Louis doesn't hide his obvious once over. But then Louis is saying something to the man, and in a flash they are leaving before Harry even gets a chance to blink. 

 

 

They are flying in their private jet back to america the next morning, when it bursts out of him. 

"I saw Louis last night." 

Niall and Liam look up, surprised, and both of them look so damn concerned. 

"The childhood friend that disappeared?" Liam asks, speaking of Zayn, this guy he and Louis used to know who one day fell of the face of the earth, and Louis had always suspected he went to India to be with a girl he met online. 

"No that's Zayn. Louis is the ex husband." Harry murmurs, and both Niall and Liam's eyes widen. Harry hardly speaks of Louis, and only told them about him on the year anniversary of their divorce when he'd had too much to drink. 

Their divorce had been quiet and quick and they hadn't even seen each other. Harry had cried for three days following getting the divorce papers, and on the fourth day, signed up for X factor. Nobody other than Harry's closest people know of Louis. 

"Shit, Harry. Did y'all talk?" Liam's taken up saying "y'all" ever since he found out they are going to Georgia for the first show of the American leg. 

"No. He was too busy with his group of boyfriends who clearly all got some last night." Harry says bitterly, then he starts to cry. 

Lou chooses that moment to walk in, and she sighs when she sees Harry crying and Liam and Niall moving to hug him. 

"Boys, what did I tell you about making fun of Harry's kale fetish?" She reprimands Liam and Niall, and it's so ridiculous and so far from why he's actually crying that Harry starts to laugh through his tears. Lou smiles, pleased that she cheered him up, and comes over to fix his hair even though they don't have a show or anything today. 

 

 

 

 

America is always fun, and Harry's been at the top of his game most of the time, but he can't help but think of Louis and how he looked and how he left right when he saw Harry are how his eyes were as pretty as he remembered and how he was so skinny and Harry's just as in love with him as he was when they divorced and when they got married and when they met in high school. He looks out into the thousands of people who came to listen to their music and all he wants is to go back to London and get Louis back. 

He has to keep in touch with the music though. He loves this. He loves performing and he loves the fans and he loves all of it. 

But he can't help but feel like he loves Louis just a bit more. 

 

"Right now?!" Niall repeats, and the sweat from the excitement of the last show of the tour is still on all of their faces. The tour ended about, well, five minutes ago. 

Harry nods, and says bye to them, ordering a plane ticket and then taking a shower to wash off the show's grime. It's been three long months of the last tour leg, and three months since he saw him. He pulls on his clothes, eyes glimmering with determination.

He's going to find Louis. 

 

 

Being famous can get you almost anything you want. It's something Harry's always despised, as he's always enjoyed cleaning up after himself and working for what he wants, but he's thankful for it now, cause he's into their old flat in less than a minute, barely having to smile at the doorman. It's been two years, and it's entirely possible that Louis doesn't still live here. He's probably got some better flat across town like he always wanted. 

He gets to the door, and his heart is beating quickly and his hands are sweaty and he knocks on the door, having rehearsed millions of times over these last two years what he'd say to Louis in this exact situation. 

When the door opens and he, thank god, is there, all blue eyes and Spider-Man hoodie and--are those leggings? Harry forgets everything he's rehearsed. 

"Are those leggings?" Is what comes tumbling out of Harry's mouth, and even though Louis is standing there all wide eyed and open mouth, his quick wit doesn't fail him. 

"They are comfortable." He defends, and Harry is still reeling from hearing his voice again. 

A door slams down the hall and Louis peeks his head out, before sighing and letting him in. 

"Wouldn't want any teenage girls milling about screaming their bloody heads off." Louis says, rather a bit bitterly. Harry pouts and takes in the flat. It's different. It has Louis' usual messiness, but it's on the clean side. Almost like someone cleans up after him. Harry remembers the jackass dude who was holding Louis too tight in that club, and wonders if he's here. 

"Why're you here?" Louis gets right to the chase, and Harry opens his mouth to answer, when the door suddenly opens and in walks only a bloody model. She looks up, and her eyes widen in recognition that Harry sees everyday, but instead of a fan's reaction, she seems to know him in a way Harry would rather her not know him as. 

"Is this--"

"Yes." Louis says before she can finish the sentence, and he looks weirdly anxious. 

"Are you--"

"No."

"Does he--"

"No." 

Harry is confused, but then she turns and smiles, holding out a hand. 

"Hi, I'm Eleanor, Louis'--"

" _Roommate_. Ah, my lovely roommate, yes, I think your cactus' flower was blooming when I saw it earlier." Louis is having an interrupting party, apparently, but his obvious diversion works, and she squeals and rushes away.

Louis looks relieved, and runs a little hand over his face. Harry doesn't attempt to hide his staring. Yes, Louis is definitely skinnier. And different in a way Harry doesn't exactly know how to explain. 

"You can tell me she's your girlfriend, you know. You shouldn't hide it like that. You need to enjoy being able to be in a public relationship. Some people--"

"Oh shut up," Louis interrupts yet again, rolling his eyes, "she's not my girlfriend. Now tell me why you're here." 

Harry is quite nervous and jumpy, bouncing on his toes, and he feels like any second Louis will jump on him. He had a reason for coming here, didn't he? Louis' eyes are so pretty Harry's pretty sure his brain has been erased. 

"You're so pretty." Harry accidentally mumbles, and his eyes widen. He covers his face with his hands and feels a bit like he's going to cry. Louis doesn't do anything except for a soft sigh, and Harry pulls himself together. 

"I saw you a few months ago at that bar. You were sitting on some asshole's lap and I just...I don't know why I'm here cause I know I don't deserve you back but it's been two years and you're still all I want." 

Louis is poking at the carpet with his toes, arms crossed and God why is he so skinny? Harry genuinely wonders if Louis eats. 

"He's not an asshole." Louis mutters, tone defensive like he's trying to convince himself. Harry bites his lip. 

"He was hurting you. His hand was way too tight on you. And he was saying mean things into your ear." Harry recites, and Louis frowns and rolls his eyes. 

"So he was a bit of a hard head. All he did was rough me up a bit, nothing serious. Me and him are over anyways. He was my type and we were good."

"Assholes are your type?" 

"Yeah they must be. I even married one once." He looks so undeniably angry for a few seconds, before he sighs and looks away, muttering an apology.

"Don't apologise. I deserve every word." Harry murmurs, and he doesn't know when they started talking so quietly, but now Louis just looks so sad, eyes dim and face pinched into a frown. 

"I must've really done something wrong to the world, cause I put everything I have into my relationships and every time I get stepped on like a bug. I just--I know I should be over it, or whatever, by now, but I'm just so tired of forgiving everyone and getting nothing in return and now I'm blabbering to the last person I want to blabber in front of but I'm just so tired." His eyes are glossy and he covers up his face. Harry can't hold back anymore. He steps forward and pulls Louis into his arms, and the boy doesn't protest, instead pressing his nose to Harry's neck and sniffling the smallest bit as he cries. 

"I love you so much. You don't deserve to be stepped on, you deserve the world. Please. One more chance. Just one more chance is all I need, I--" he's always been emotional, especially when other people are, so it's not a surprise when he starts to cry too, basking in the feel of Louis in his arms and his smell. Then it's gone as he pulls back and wipes his eyes, looking up at Harry. 

"I don't know if I can forgive you yet. it took me so long just to clean the sheets of our bed because they smelled like you. I don't--"

Harry shushes him gently, and wipes his tears away. His body is on fire where Louis just was, and his heart is beating like a drum. 

"You don't have to decide right now. I know it's a big decision to make and I know it's shitty for me to come beg like this after what I did...but I can't help but feel like if I don't get you back I'll never be happy again." 

Louis shakes his head, smiling shyly. 

"You will. You're in the biggest boyband in the world. You're literally always surrounded by beautiful people all the time. And it's been two years. Why come back to our mess?"

Harry smiles at him. The boy is so clueless, even after all this time. 

"Because I'd rather spend five seconds in 'our mess' than to be surrounded by models for all my life." It's rather cheesy, but it makes louis roll his eyes fondly like he's always done when Harry's being too cheesy. They hear a small "awe" from the left, and they both turn to find Eleanor watching them closely, munching on a bag of popcorn. She gives them an innocent look and makes a 'go on' motion with her hands. 

"We are not reality telly, Eleanor!" Louis yells, and she shrieks as he chases after her, popcorn spilling all over the damn place. 

"You're the worst doctor ever!" He continues to yell, and Harry quirks an eyebrow. 

"Doctor?" Harry asks, and they both dramatically freeze, bag of popcorn held over their heads. 

"Um, yeah. El's studying to be a doctor, so I pretend she's mine to avoid needles." Louis says matter of factly, and Harry knows he's definitely lying, but he pretends he doesn't know, humming thoughtfully. 

They continue on with their childish banter, and when they disappear down the hall, Harry pulls the broom and dustpan from the spot it's still stored after all this time and starts to cleanup the popcorn, feeling almost like its a normal day of cleaning up after Louis. He smiles and continues on until he's moved on to other things and it's been half an hour and they are still in the back of the house. 

He furrows his eyebrows and ignores the pang of his heart as he walks down the hall and sees the nails of their pictures that have been taken down. He continues on and finds them behind a cracked door talking quietly. He should make a noise and loudly let them know he's there, but then it's been too long and he's definitely rudely eavesdropping.

"I'm just scared it'll end up like last time. I don't want to get that low again."

"Do you remember what you told me in our first session?" 

Session? Harry's getting more confused as the weirdness of them two go on. 

"Kind of blurry, to be honest." Louis murmurs, and they are talking quite low, so Harry leans closer.

And trips right into the room. 

He lies on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, and prays that he will be killed, like, right now. Okay, he needs to play it cool. He was just passing the door and tripped inside on his way to the toilet. Harry thinks that's quite a persuasive story. 

"I wasn't eavesdropping." Is what comes out, and Harry covers his face in shame. 

He hears a snort, and then rustling as they stand up. 

"Since you weren't eavesdropping, what didn't you hear?" 

"I didn't hear anything at all, that's for sure." 

He takes his hands from his face and Louis is standing above him, staring down at him with a quirked brow. Harry stands up and finds himself just a few inches from the boy, and the room gets hot quite fast. Louis audibly gulps, and where'd Eleanor go? Louis' eyelashes are so long. 

"I'd do just about anything to kiss you right now." Harry says, and Louis chooses that moment to lick his lips.

"Anything?" Louis repeats, and Harry can't just stand there. He puts his hands on Louis' hips and pulls their bodies flush together, and Louis' hand press to his chest as he's pulled. 

"Yeah, anything." 

"That's such a bad idea." Louis murmurs, eyes fluttering as he stares at Harry's lips too. 

"Probably." Harry replies just as quiet, and there's a pause and then,

Louis' phone starts to ring. 

Harry pouts quite heavily when Louis gives him the prettiest look, then pulls out his phone, stepping out of Harry's arms. 

"Hello?....yeah mum I'm fine....n-no....I'm with Harry, actually....what other Harry is there?...no--...God, no...yeah okay." He shrugs at Harry and then hands him the phone, and Harry hasn't talked to Jay in two years. Since before he broke her son. 

"Hello?" Harry's voice cracks, and it's silent for two seconds, before,

"Harry Edward styles, I don't care how famous you are, if you even _think_ about hurting that boy again I will personally come to your fucking penthouse, cut off your balls, and sell them online for a million pounds." Harry winces, and bounces on his toes nervously. Louis looks a bit anxious. 

"Don't worry. If I do, I'll happily buy you the knife." He says, and Louis quirks an eyebrow. 

"Good answer. You have no clue what he's been through. I can't be the one to tell you, but don't expect sunshine and rainbows. It's been a long two years and you decided to come back just when he's gotten clean." Harry's eyebrows furrow. 

"What do you mean clean?" He watches Louis' eyes widen, face erupting in panic, and he snatches the phone away, saying a loud goodbye to his mum before hanging up. Harry just stands there in confusion. 

"Lou? What does she mean clean?" Louis shakes his head quickly, like he can make it disappear, but Harry just stares at him until louis closes his eyes, ducking his head, and yanks up the sleeve of his jumper, holding his arm wrist up towards Harry. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows and steps to him, taking his arm and looking closely. At first he doesn't know what he's looking for, but then he sees them, multiple small scars on his forearm clearly from needles, and there's only one thing this could be. 

"No, Louis--" he feels tears pricking at his eyes, and Louis yanks his arm away and pulls his sleeve back down. 

"It was really rough after you left. You weren't just a high school boyfriend. I had loved you since I was 18 and to have that happen I just...i started to party too much and I met this group of people and one drunk night of trying heroin led to two years of addiction, rehab, and three relapses. It got really bad especially when you'd gotten into that band I just saw your smiling face all over every magazine and it was like you had forgotten all about us and all these voices in my head telling me I wasn't good enough for you so much that I led you to cheat and--"

Harry pulls him into his arms, and they are both crying again and Harry's stomach is in the tightest ball. 

"Baby, I--I'm so sorry. I never stopped loving you for even a second. You were so much more than I deserved and I just lost sight of us but I swear you've never left my mind." He takes Louis' hand and uses his other hand to pull out the chain from under his shirt, guiding Louis' hand to the chain. 

Louis pulls back and his eyes widen when he sees the gold band dangling from the chain.

"You still have it?" He whispers, and Harry nods, carefully wiping away Louis' tears. 

"I've never taken it off. I almost didn't come here today because I didn't want to intrude back in your life after I had ruined us so bad. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you, and I don't know how long it will take until I don't look at you and remember the look on your face that day." 

They hug each other for a long time, before Louis wipes his face with a huffed sigh and leads Harry to the front door. 

"I don't know if I'll be able to give you a second chance, but I will give you an answer when I figure it out." Harry's still crying silently, and he briefly hopes nobody knows he's here so he won't be seen with puffy eyes stepping out of the building. He nods, wiping at his eyes and trying to calm himself with a deep breath. 

"Hey," Louis whispers, gentle hands taking his wrists and swiping over his wet cheeks, "that's not a no." His eyes are striking when they are surrounded by puffy redness, and Harry just wants to slap his past self in the face for ever hurting him. What was he thinking?

"I love you." Harry says, and Louis blushes a bit like they are teenagers saying it for the first time again. Louis doesn't say it back, but he lifts up on his tiptoes and presses a kiss to his cheek, and maybe it's more. 

 

 

"You're really sure about this?" Eleanor asks, even as she loads up the last box into the car, and Louis rubs his hands together nervously. In the past year and a half, Eleanor's become more than his therapist, she's become his best friend, and even he is nervous about not having her supervision over him. He hugs her tightly, and pretends he's not emotional. 

"No, but I'm doing it anyways." She pulls away and kisses his cheek, making sure for the fifth time that he has all of her contact information, before he's getting into the car and with one last look at the flat he's lived in since he was 20, he drives off. 

The house isn't too far, and with Louis' whirling thoughts and the gps telling him where to go, he's pulling up in front of the large house in no time. There's a gate with a four letter passcode needed, and Louis bites his lip nervously. 

He tries Harry's birthday, and it doesn't work. He then tries gem's, then Anne's, and even his cats name. With a burst of hope, Louis punches in their wedding date, and when the gate automatically opens, Louis feels a lot more sure about this, though his heart is still racing and his hands are sweaty. 

When he parks, he spends a good five minutes working up his nerves, then gets out, walking slowly to the door. The house is quite large and extensive and Louis feels a bit of fond. Harry used to always talk about wanting a large house and now he has it. 

The door opens barely a minute after Louis' rung the doorbell, and Harry looks so surprised, eyes glittering with hope. He's wearing a shirt Louis got him for his birthday years ago, and it's worn and faded and a bit small on him, but he's wearing it. 

Louis has no second thoughts now. He steps forward and pulls the chain from around Harry's neck, and unclasps it, pulling the chain until the band falls into his palm. Harry's watching him closely with wide eyes. Louis takes the boys hand, and with a small smile, slides the ring back to its rightful place. 

Harry is definitely getting teary, and Louis holds his breath. For five seconds, Harry just stares glossy eyed at the ring back on his finger, until he gives the happiest laugh and picks Louis up, spinning him around into the house, shutting the door with his foot and crying through his joy. 

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I'll never hurt you again, I swear, I won't, Louis, I--" Louis has always been good at shutting up his blabbering with kisses, so he does it now, and Harry makes the prettiest noise, kissing him back with a gasp, arms tightening around him. 

They kiss as if it is their last, and with a desperate fever. 

"Missed this." Louis murmurs, and heat tugs at his body when Harry pulls away from his lips and sucks at his neck, lips rough and desperate, but hands gentle and slow as they caress his back. 

"I want--please, Lou, I'm sorry baby, I need you--" Louis shushes him and pulls his head back, looking into Harry's eyes and running a hand through his wavy hair. 

"Hey, I forgive you." Louis says, and Harry's face crumbles, and he sags against Louis, who's back is flush against the wall, and he finally lets go, sobs muffled by Louis' shirt, the upmost relief filling him to his core. 

Louis just holds him, petting his hair and  letting him cry. 

"Thank you, I don't deserve it, thank you, I love you," Harry's muttering is never ending. 

 

By twenty minutes later, Louis has calmed the boy down and has him lying down on his bed, eyes puffy but filled with so much love. 

Louis undresses him slowly, kissing up his chest, but stops short when he finds a small tattoo on Harry's arm near his armpit. 

'I'm sorry' it says in Harry's scrawl, small but there, and Harry is looking at him hesitantly. 

"H..." Louis murmurs, then crawls up the boy's body, straddling his waist, then leans down and sucks a dark lovebite into the tattoo, and when it darkens to the purple of a hickey, the words are hardly noticeable. Harry's eyes are glossed over with lust, and his fingers are twitching relentlessly. 

"Be patient." Louis says, and dips his head once again, but to latch his lips onto Harry's nipple and give him a hard bite. 

Harry's whole body shudders, and the moan that falls from his mouth is long and drawn out. Louis has definitely missed this, and he feels giddy with excitement.

By the time Louis lifts his head again, Harry's face is flushed and has a thin sheen of sweat coating it, and both of his nipples are shiny and a deep red, bite marks evident on them. 

Harry seems to know what's next, cause he's blindly reaching towards a maroon beside table. Louis' lip curls at the colour. _It doesn't even match the room._ they are going to be shopping quite soon. A warm feeling swirls in Louis' stomach at the thought, and he shakes it off, reaching into the maroon drawer of the table and pulling out an almost full bottle of lube. 

"M'gonna ride you. Wanna get me ready?" Louis asks in his most sultry voice, and Harry almost gives himself whiplash in his hurry to get to the task. Louis thinks about laughing, but then he's pulling off his clothes and he feels suddenly self conscious. The heroin had taken almost everything from Louis' body, and at his lowest, he weighed the same as his baby sisters, and even though he's almost a year clean, he's still healing, and he knows he's still terribly skinny, all of the knobs of his spine visible. Though its not as bad as it used to be, that voice in his head is still present. 

_You clearly aren't attractive enough. Why else would he have cheated?_

"Hey," Harry's voice breaks through it all, "you're so beautiful right now. Do you even know what you do to me?" Louis shrugs as if he's shy, and Harry licks his lips and holds Louis' hips and guides him until Louis feels Harry's hard as a rock dick press up against his arse. He's leaking, and it wets Louis' skin. The voice is wiped from Louis' head, and he gasps, rocking back on his dick to make just the smallest friction. Harry gulps and his fingers fumble in his hurry to coat them, and he's quick, pulling Louis closer to him and pressing his fingers to his rim, just the lightest tickle of pressure. 

"Cmon, cmon," Louis whispers, and it takes a second, but then Harry's eyes are lighting up with joy, red blooming in his cheeks. 

"You listened to our songs?" He asks, and Louis smiles, running a hand through the boy's mussed up hair. 

"All of them. Even the unofficial ones." He's talking about a certain song that Harry recorded out of the band, and Harry's entire face fills with love when he realises. 

This is sweet and all, but Louis feels Harry's wet fingers at his rim, and he bites his lip and rocks back onto them until Harry presses one inside. 

It's been a while, so he's a bit tight, but it seems Harry hasn't lost his knowledge about exactly how Louis' body works. He must remember that Louis likes it to burn, because he only presses that finger into him twice before he's squeezing in another, and they burn especially when he scissors them. 

Louis whines high in his throat, heat curling in his stomach as Harry fucks his fingers into him just how he likes, and wastes no time, presses them hard into his prostate. 

Louis will later deny the sound that comes out of him as it happens, and also the way his arms go weak and he sort of collapses into Harry's chest. The younger boy isn't even deterred. In fact, he presses in a third finger, then presses hard to the boys prostate and holds them there, wave upon wave of pleasure going through Louis' body. 

"God, yeah, yeah, that's so good." Louis slurs, fingernails biting into Harry's shoulders as he sits up to try to get away from the intense pleasure, as it's almost on the edge of too much. 

"You ready?" Harry pants, and Louis' nodding before he's even done with the question, and when Harry pulls his fingers out, Louis' able to catch his breath and remember that he's the damn power bottom. There will be no more of this losing control nonsense. 

As soon as Harry is finished rolling on the condom, Louis sinks down on him, and the burn is glorious, but not as glorious as the blissed out look on Harry's face. 

"Fuck, you're s-so tight." He looks almost in pain, mouth gaping open and hands holding Louis still as he tries to calm down, but that's not what Louis wants. 

"Hands above your head." He orders, and Harry's eyes flutter as he does what he's told, clasping them together, body on display. He must have a wonderful trainer, because he looks quite a lot more muscly than before. He could probably hold Louis up against a wall and--

Louis clenches hard at his own thoughts, and he leans down, presses his lips to Harry's ear and yanks his hair in the way he knows makes Harry twitch. 

"Pop star life making you go to the gym a lot, hmm? Let's put those muscles to use," he drops his voice to a whisper, "I want you to pick me up and fuck me against that wall until I come." 

Harry moans and pauses before he follows the order, pulling out of Louis and taking a few deep breaths like he's about to fall apart. Louis waits patiently, running gentle fingers across Harry's sharp jaw and the slope of his nose. 

"I don't want to drop you." Harry murmurs, actual concern etching his face, as if Louis' ribs aren't protruding from his skin and he hardly weighs anything. Louis quirks an eyebrow. 

"Well, Harold, I'd love to marry you again, but I don't know if I can have a husband who can't even fuck me like I want." 

It does just the trick. Harry's eyes widen and fill with determination. He stands up, and just as Louis suspected, he doesn't even lose his breath picking him up, and the look on his face is so funny. It's like he didn't know his own strength. He does as he was told and presses Louis against the wall, and his arms only tremble a bit when he sinks back into him. 

The angle is glorious, and It's just as amazing as Louis hoped. 

"I'm gonna be the best husband. M'gonna treat you like a prince. Give you anything you need." Harry promises, fucking up into him hard while he leans forward and kisses him hotly. 

"Need you to make me come." Louis pants into his mouth, and he hopes Harry is close cause Louis' embarrassingly racing to the edge quite quick. 

Harry suddenly changes his thrusts from fast and quick to slow, deep, and hard and Louis loses his train of thought, toes curling.

"Fuck you for remembering everything I like." Louis says, and though Harry is close, as it shows in the flush of his cheeks, he still grins at him all boyishly and attractive. 

"How could I forget anything about you? You look so good right now." Harry gets out, and he's probably so close, but so is Louis so it's okay. 

Three hard thrusts later Harry comes, moaning against Louis' neck, but he must remember Louis' order to fuck him until he comes, because he doesn't stop. 

He continues with his pace, but lowers his head to latch onto Louis' nipple. 

Louis arches against his mouth and with a stuttered moan he comes, eyes rolling back into his head. 

Harry's trembling a bit, but he continues to hold him, and carries him to the bed and gently sets him down. Louis pats at his head while the boy cleans him up. 

"Good boy. Don't know how I could've thought anyone else could fuck me as well as you do. Don't know about you but, those boys were horrid In comparison."

Harry blushes, and gets a sheepish look, throwing away the tissues he cleaned them up with and crawling up the bed to lie with him. 

"I wouldn't know, actually." He says quietly, and Louis abruptly sits up, eyes wide. 

"Wait, you...didn't fuck anyone else?" Louis exclaims, and Harry shakes his head sheepishly. 

"Never really crossed my mind. I was too busy thinking I'd never have anyone good enough as you." 

Louis swats playfully at his chest, mumbling something about charm. 

"I love you." Harry says, leaning close and kissing at his neck sweetly, holding him as if he is porcelain.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: ohpleaselarry


End file.
